I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.

I think I'd be a really good dad. So perhaps I'm doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible.

Maybe if you live in Brooklyn, you don't need to hear that? But please, trust me, in most of America, they do need to hear it. And they're quite thankful that somebody came out and did it. For an hour and a half in that theater, for once, they're in the majority.

I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.

Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.

You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.

There is also a kind of mean-spiritedness with LA comics.