The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

Then I will tape the sets and even though I`m not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.

I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright.

If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat.

I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, "Thank you for doing that" - type of reviews. "It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious" - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.