The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed."

I still think that, hopefully, you're not ahead of the jokes, and I think that has value. There is a punchline and it's pointed - and, again, whether you think it's funny or not, that's subjective.

If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat.

I've gotten "condescending" a million times, and that's not good.

What President of the Airline is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate?

I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.