Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed."

I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like "An Evening Of Political Comedy."

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.

There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, "Why am I here? What am I doing?"