I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed."

There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.

Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.

So all my friends have kids now... which I think is rude.

Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let's put another one of me out there.

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have to decide, immediately, you have to go "Ohmigod. Do I look at the most beautiful woman in the world or the craziest guy in the world?"