That's the trouble with Nick. The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.

Hurling looks a bit like a cross between lacrosse and second degree murder.

Everybody knows pretty much everything about me. I emptied all the skeletons out of my closet a long time ago.

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.

I hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them.

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.