I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.

I hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them.

I adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

Everybody knows pretty much everything about me. I emptied all the skeletons out of my closet a long time ago.