I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

I hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them.

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

It's how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success.

The hardest thing I ever did was get sober. I was drinking two and a half bottles of whiskey a day and taking 40 Vicodin. If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

Colin Montgomerie is a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.