Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.
David FehertyI hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them.
David FehertyIt's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.
David FehertyPlaying Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.
David FehertyWatching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.
David FehertyBeing bipolar and an addict and an alcoholic I have to keep myself very busy. I don't sleep. I am lucky if I get three hours of sleep a night, and so I get up, and my head is full of slamming doors.
David FehertyI don't want anybody to understand what my depression feels like because in order to understand it you have to have been there, and I don't want anybody else to go.
David FehertyI have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.
David FehertyI adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you.
David FehertyEverybody knows pretty much everything about me. I emptied all the skeletons out of my closet a long time ago.
David FehertyThe hardest thing I ever did was get sober. I was drinking two and a half bottles of whiskey a day and taking 40 Vicodin. If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
David FehertyThe world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers.
David Feherty