I adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

I hunt feral hogs. I try not to shoot creatures. That doesn't do anything for me. But big, nasty, smelly, bristly things with tusks that destroy everything that they touch. Yeah, I'll shoot them.

Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.

It's how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success.

Everybody knows pretty much everything about me. I emptied all the skeletons out of my closet a long time ago.

I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.