Many of the critics have kids of their own. It scares the hell out of them to think that their kids could be anything remotely like David Lee Roth.

It's not who wants to sleep with you; It's who wants to sleep with you again.

I knew already when I was seven years old, that I wanted to be on stage and entertain people. I sell laughs. Here, you got one for free!

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance

You know what rock musicians are? They are hung up, neurotic, over-weight hippies with sex problems.

What's missing is the testosterone. What's missing is the fury. What's missing is the passionate convicted commitment. And I got a lot of mine from my religious background. So y'all best stop imagining the way Dr. Zorba looked, or some defenseless Hasidic Jew with a little yarmulke on his head, 'cause that ain't here for you.

Music journalists love Elvis Costello and hate me because they look like Elvis Costello