In front of the camera and in front of the lens, there's no lawsuits, there's no agent, and there's most frequently no time limits... There's a longevity that's kind of built into it. I spend most of my time behind the scenes, and when it is time to perform, I'm genuinely delighted to do it.

I don't get all the women that I want... I get all the women that want me.

Music journalists love Elvis Costello and hate me because they look like Elvis Costello

You gotta learn the alphabet, backwards and forwards. And then the choice is yours, 'cause last I looked, the Bible is written in the same words, the exact same alphabet, as my favorite pornography. Choice is yours.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

I take my personal upkeep real seriously; my sense of organization and attention to detail; my memory; my business - I love the business.

People say that life is a cesspool of darkness and dispair. Well we of Van Halen are sailing through it in a yacht!