I know that people think I'm a party king; but, face it, if I finished the bottle every time I took a drink, I wouldn't be able to do the aerials I do onstage.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

The only people who put iced tea in Jack Daniel's bottles is the Clash baby!

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

It's always irritated me that people say, 'Where's the action? Oh wow, there's no action here; let's go somewhere else.' These people will never find the action.

When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at first it's novel and brand new and then you watch every channel, every show. And then you become a little more selective and more selective, until ultimately... you wind up with a radio.