Do good things for other people.

Al Gore has endorsed Howard Dean for president. That's pretty fitting, the guy that didn't beat Bush endorsing the guy who won't beat Bush.

Did you hear this? They say now Osama bin Laden and his buddy Mullah Omar have left Afghanistan dressed as women. They dressed up as women and went across the border into Pakistan. I think they're going to make a movie about it. They're going to call it 'Some like it Jihad.'

One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.

Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.

Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.