Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's house.

The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.

This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, 'May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

What a day. It's 53 and gloomy - like President Obama.

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.

North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il may be stepping down. Yeah, experts in the State Department say he could be replaced by his son, Menta Li Ill.