United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.
David LettermanPresident Bush says he is looking forward to the testimony of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, he is very excited about Condoleezza Rice's testimony before Congress. Well, it makes perfect sense - he wants to know what was going on, too.
David LettermanThe Russian economy is tanking. It's gotten so bad that today Vladimir Putin had to pawn his stolen Super Bowl ring. And Putin will finance his next invasion on Kickstarter.
David LettermanKim Jong Il made his staff call him โdearโ and spent the day drinking cognac. It's like I have a twin, ladies and gentlemen.
David Letterman