Quiet down, we don't want to wake the Russians.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.

Mitt Romney is not going to be running for president. So you know what that means. We are getting closer and closer to 'President Trump.'

John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.

The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis.