John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president.
David LettermanAfter my bypass surgery I knew I had to change my lifestyle, and then it occured to me - I don't have a lifestyle.
David LettermanLadies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
David LettermanMitt Romney is running for president again. That will be attempt No. 3. Well, everybody needs a hobby. He's almost certainly running, and I'm almost certainly retiring, so I don't care.
David Letterman