Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.

You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.

I heard this rumor that al Qaeda is merging with Hamas. Yeah, I got that tip from Martha Stewart.

Reasons why members of Congress deserve a pay raise: Many big corporations are cutting back on bribes; nearly half the members have never been indicted.

Here's what the kids get. They get free McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Chicken for a year, and 52 six-packs of Pepsi. And I'm thinking, well, actually, it might be healthier if they were taking steroids.

I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.