Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before
David LettermanIraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
David LettermanBased on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
David LettermanYou folks like TV, you watch a lot of TV? There's a show right here on CBS, it's a huge hit. It's called the "Mentalist." And it's about this guy who has a heightened sense of observation. It's miraculous; he's the only guy in the world who can tell the difference between Sarah Palin and Tina Fey.
David Letterman