You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

I have nothing against the North Koreans but this Kim Jong Un has got a screw loose. A member of his cabinet, his security minister, nods off, falls sleep. We've all done it. Kim Jong Un takes the guy out and has him executed, just for just falling asleep. Oh, and he was also deflating footballs.

Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.

John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush stands for 'Wrong.' But he still can't explain what John Kerry stands for.

People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.