When we started the show, there were mixed responses. Half of the people said, 'That show doesn't have a chance.' The other half said, 'That show doesn't have a prayer.'
David LettermanAfter my bypass surgery I knew I had to change my lifestyle, and then it occured to me - I don't have a lifestyle.
David LettermanMonday is President's Day and former President Bill Clinton is very excited. He is taking George Bush, Sr. to 'Hooters'. ... George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton have been spending more and more time together. Doesn't that seem like an unusual couple to you, honestly? Earlier today they went to go see that gay cowboy movie.
David LettermanPresident Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate.
David Letterman