Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?

Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.

In just a few minutes, my son will have completed his first trip around the sun.

There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the State Department, and I thought finally, a Clinton scandal the entire family can enjoy.

I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?

United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.