A small handgun makes any TV remote control.

Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.

Today is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of recycling is going on this year. For example, Bushes and Clintons.

I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.

Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.

Paul Ryan announced that after a lot of thought, and talking it over with family and friends, that he is not going to run for president in 2016. I'm telling you, this announcement sent shock waves through no one.