Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'

I heard this rumor that al Qaeda is merging with Hamas. Yeah, I got that tip from Martha Stewart.

Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.

Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he is sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that.

Scientists have discovered a black hole that is 12 billion times the size of our sun. It's full of Hillary Clinton emails.