Today was opening day for the new Congress in Washington. And Vice President Joe Biden swore in the new batch of White House fence jumpers.
David LettermanYou can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.
David LettermanThe morning after I had my heart bypass, the doctor called and said, Soon you'll be able to have sex. I said, I've heard that for years.
David Letterman