Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'

Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.

Do you remember the good ol' days when Congress was only unsafe if you were an intern.

Now there are reports that Osama bin Laden would like to commit suicide on television. This is the kind of lead-in I have been praying for every since I came to CBS. Bin Laden is planning a televised suicide or, as I call it, hosting the Academy Awards.

Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.

In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?

John Walker, while he was in Afghanistan, told people his goal was to have four wives. ... Do we need any further proof that this guy is out of his mind? Four wives? That's how al Qaeda gets you to become a suicide bomber.