Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'

They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.

Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.

You folks like TV, you watch a lot of TV? There's a show right here on CBS, it's a huge hit. It's called the "Mentalist." And it's about this guy who has a heightened sense of observation. It's miraculous; he's the only guy in the world who can tell the difference between Sarah Palin and Tina Fey.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.