Good luck finding a place to park in New York City. And when you do, good luck figuring out the parking signs, restrictions, and prohibitions. It is so complicated. It has gotten so bad, I never park my car without a lawyer.
David LettermanDid you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
David LettermanThat's the first thing they teach you in bowling, by the way. Don't press the ball against your nose. The other one is don't lick the pins.
David LettermanOver in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing.
David Letterman