Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, virtually going door to door to every home in Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses finally got fed up and said, 'Get lost. Get out of here!'

Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.

Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.

Former President Bush, to celebrate his 80th birthday, jumped out of an airplane. And if you've seen the polls, you know he's not the only Bush in freefall.

This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.