Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.

At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.

According to the recent polls, Bush has a slight lead over John Kerry. So today, Bush hung a banner over the White House saying, 'Mission Accomplished.'

Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has released all of his emails. I'd like to release all of my emails. I've got nothing but emails about low-cost funerals and Viagra.

They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.

They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'

Do you know what I'm going to do when I retire? I hope to become the new face of Scientology.