Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.

The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'

New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.

Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis.

Here's some news from Afghanistan. We're sending more troops to seal up the borders. Can we try that here? Three months, 12,000 pounds of bombs and billions and billions of dollars and the highest ranking enemy we've captured so far is an American.

I think you can use some of those words on TV. But one thing you can't do is throw coffee, I've said it over and over again!