Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie.

Here's some news from Afghanistan. We're sending more troops to seal up the borders. Can we try that here? Three months, 12,000 pounds of bombs and billions and billions of dollars and the highest ranking enemy we've captured so far is an American.

Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.

Well, the manhunt continues for that elusive evil mastermind, but I'm telling you Enron CEO Kenneth Lay remains at large.

People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.

They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.

Former President Bill Clinton is on the program tonight. He says that while his wife runs for president, he would like to stay out of the limelight. Well, he's certainly come to the right place. He'll be fine here.