The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash.

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

Don't worry about me. I plan to continue to be in show business. I have already been booked to be in a production of 'The Sunshine Boys' with Jay Leno.

In Hollywood, Oscar is king.

Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.

There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.

Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he is sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that.