The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash.

Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants.

So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.

I think you can use some of those words on TV. But one thing you can't do is throw coffee, I've said it over and over again!

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

Donald Trump is talking about running for president. He hasn't made an announcement, but I want to tell you something. The fake suspense is killing me.

Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?