I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."

Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?

Earlier today, we got a call from Stephen Hawking. He's a genius, and after 6,028 shows he ran the numbers and he said it works out to about eight minutes of laughter.

Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.

Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.