Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he is sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that.

I'm nothing if not an optimist.

Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.

Everybody is wondering what Paris Hilton will be doing next, and hell, I'm wondering what she did before.

By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her.

Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.