Mitt Romney has a fund-raiser. He's going to get in the ring and fight Evander Holyfield. This is the dumbest thing Republicans have done since they wrote that open letter to Iran.
David LettermanNumber one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis.
David LettermanHere's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.
David LettermanPaul Ryan announced that after a lot of thought, and talking it over with family and friends, that he is not going to run for president in 2016. I'm telling you, this announcement sent shock waves through no one.
David Letterman