Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he is sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that.

Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.

Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.

George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.

I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life.

Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.

Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.