Yesterday was Election Day. If we have any Democrats in the audience, I'm sorry but you're going to have to give up your seats.

The Pope also said that while he's in town he would like to go see 'The Book of Mormon.'

Mitt Romney has a fund-raiser. He's going to get in the ring and fight Evander Holyfield. This is the dumbest thing Republicans have done since they wrote that open letter to Iran.

Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.

George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.

Pepsi has a new Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew. No, we don't have an Ebola vaccine, but we do have the Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew.

Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.