The new CIA torture report is 6 million pages long. It's almost as long as a George Clooney pre-nup.

Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go.

The Pope also said that while he's in town he would like to go see 'The Book of Mormon.'

Hillary has now erased all of her emails, and she also had all of her pantsuits dry cleaned.

Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads!

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.