They figured out a way to control that hamburger disease. You dip the hamburger into the scalding hot coffee before eating.

George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.

There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.

President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.

Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.

We thought New York City was home to 8 million rats. Turns out, that's a little high. The actual number is 2 million rats. That explains the light turnout for the midterm elections.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.