I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.

Love: You can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun.

Good luck finding a place to park in New York City. And when you do, good luck figuring out the parking signs, restrictions, and prohibitions. It is so complicated. It has gotten so bad, I never park my car without a lawyer.

I don't know what they are protesting at Occupy Wall Street but I'm on their side. But 10,000 protestors and one Porta Potty?

You know who's upset now with ISIS? Al Qaeda. It's because ISIS is getting more attention than Al Qaeda. So now, Saturday night will be Ayman al-Zawahiri bobblehead night.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a huge debate with Arianna Huffington about immigration - going back and forth - finally immigration came in and hauled them both away.