I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.

Everybody is wondering what Paris Hilton will be doing next, and hell, I'm wondering what she did before.

Congratulations to Bill and Hillary Clinton: this weekend, 33rd wedding anniversary. How about that? And you thought the Iraqi war was a never-ending conflict.

Tim Tebow may be back in the NFL with the Philadelphia Eagles. As you remember, he was thrown out of the league when he landed his gyrocopter on the White House lawn.

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.

The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.