Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.

United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.

The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'

I'll be honest with you. It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.'

They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.

Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.