My good friend Paul Shaffer and I are going to continue in show business. Next month Paul and I will debut our new act at Caesar's Palace with our white tigers.

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

Newt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses. Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.

It's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?

Don't worry about me. I plan to continue to be in show business. I have already been booked to be in a production of 'The Sunshine Boys' with Jay Leno.

Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.

Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.