Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.

God forbid I should be the last one to criticize, but I think may be Howard Dean has a bit of a problem because earlier today during a debate in New Hampshire, he bit off Joe Lieberman's ear.

Pepsi has a new Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew. No, we don't have an Ebola vaccine, but we do have the Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew.

The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.

Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.

Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?

President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.