That's the first thing they teach you in bowling, by the way. Don't press the ball against your nose. The other one is don't lick the pins.

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment when Romney bit off Holyfield's other ear.

Kids in Washington every year have the big Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. The kids found 300 Easter eggs. They also found about 10,000 missing Hillary emails.

The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.

Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.