President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the Kerry administration.

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'

Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before

Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down.There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they're going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they're going to look into this North Korean thing.

How about that oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico. And you know, the oil slick is going everywhere. So the next time somebody lands on the Hudson, it won't be that big a deal.

The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?