It was a tough press conference for President Bush. He spent the first ten minutes trying to pronounce Fallujah. ... Bush insisted that Iraq is not Vietnam. Of course not, he avoided Vietnam.

Yesterday, the Senate voted to approve President Clinton's decision to send troops to Bosnia. And they voted to change the name of that mission to "Operation Forget About Whitewater".

I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'

I'll be honest with you. It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.'

Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.

President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.