The oil spill is getting bad. There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami.

Scientists have discovered a black hole that is 12 billion times the size of our sun. It's full of Hillary Clinton emails.

When I stopped smoking cigars it was the biggest mistake I made in my life. So my resolution for 98 is Im going to start smoking cigars again. I gave them up about a year and a half ago, and I now realize that it may have been my one last fun, interesting thing to do.

Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.

John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.