How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.

I've had nothing but great friendship to help me through this.

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.

Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment when Romney bit off Holyfield's other ear.

Today Mitt Romney is 68 years old. It's kind of sad, a 68-year-old guy with no job, no future - wait a minute, that's me.

I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.

My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.