President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. He said, 'Don't worry, we should not be there any longer than a Kardashian marriage.'

In just a few minutes, my son will have completed his first trip around the sun.

I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.

President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. He said, 'Don't worry, we should not be there any longer than a Kardashian marriage.'

Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.