You can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.

The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?

Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.

Everybody is wondering what Paris Hilton will be doing next, and hell, I'm wondering what she did before.

President Obama is sending a couple hundred troops to Iraq. We spent six years trying to figure a way to get out of Iraq. And now we're back. But this time there is an exit strategy. Barack Obama has an exit strategy. In 2016, he's gone.

You know what I love best about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt - and that's just in the hot-dogs.

United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either.