Everybody is wondering what Paris Hilton will be doing next, and hell, I'm wondering what she did before.

Pope Francis is going to go to Washington, D.C., to address Congress. He believes the New England Patriots have been deflating his giant hat.

There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the State Department, and I thought finally, a Clinton scandal the entire family can enjoy.

Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential candidate, is going to fight Evander Holyfield for charity. I hope they save some of that money for funeral expenses.

The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'

Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.