Everybody is wondering what Paris Hilton will be doing next, and hell, I'm wondering what she did before.

They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.

Are you excited about the recall election? Arnold's campaign has a new slogan: 'Win one for the groper.'

And tar is washing up onto the beaches - big globs of tar. And people are saying, 'Is that going to ruin our summer at the beach?' No, of course not. You take the big blobs of tar and you use them to hold down your blanket.

To save energy, New York City is now dimming the lights of the skyscrapers and the skyline at night. There's a bad side to this. If you need Batman, you have to text him.

Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.

Scientists have discovered a black hole that is 12 billion times the size of our sun. It's full of Hillary Clinton emails.