Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.

Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. Republicans won in a landslide.

Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

You know who's upset now with ISIS? Al Qaeda. It's because ISIS is getting more attention than Al Qaeda. So now, Saturday night will be Ayman al-Zawahiri bobblehead night.

You can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.

Monday is President's Day and former President Bill Clinton is very excited. He is taking George Bush, Sr. to 'Hooters'. ... George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton have been spending more and more time together. Doesn't that seem like an unusual couple to you, honestly? Earlier today they went to go see that gay cowboy movie.

President Obama is in China. Today he visited the kids who make our cellphones.