There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.

How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.

President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.

I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?

Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is now governor of California. He is a very shrewd man - he already has all of his sex scandals behind him.

Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.