There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.

Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.

Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea.

I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.

Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.

They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.