I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.
David LettermanOsama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them.
David LettermanKim Jong Il made his staff call him โdearโ and spent the day drinking cognac. It's like I have a twin, ladies and gentlemen.
David LettermanDonald Trump had a university. Well, the state attorney general decided that the Donald Trump University was an unlicensed sham. And I thought, you know you're at a bad university when your commencement speaker is Whitey Bulger.
David Letterman