Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.

I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American.

You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.

Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

I'm still here. I knocked off another competitor.

It is cold down in Washington, DC. They had to use an ice scraper on John Boehner's face to get the tears off, it was so cold.

Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.