John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.

Due to budget crunches, Bush has had to scale some of the programs. He has a new program, 'Leave A Couple of Kids Behind.'

Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.

I heard this rumor that al Qaeda is merging with Hamas. Yeah, I got that tip from Martha Stewart.

Kids in Washington every year have the big Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. The kids found 300 Easter eggs. They also found about 10,000 missing Hillary emails.

The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'

You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in his teeth protesting greed.